The Voice Inside of Me

"Five per cent of the people think; ten per cent of the people think they think; and the other eighty-five per cent would rather die than think."

-Thomas A. Edison 

There are many things about the journey through this pandemic that I did not expect. One of the significant things for me is just how many quieter moments there are. 

What used to be gatherings of friends and family is now made up of quieter moments.

What used to be a day crammed with stuff and things now has space for ease and quieter moments. 

What used to be evenings of distraction watching the Toronto Raptors and the CFL (namely my home team, the Saskatchewan Roughriders. After all, once a Rider fan, always a Rider fan), are now are quieter.  

These quieter moments have brought way more stillness into my life, way more time to think and reflect on my life, and our global situation. I thought I was experienced at working through things, finding what resonated with me, what served others with the integrity that spoke to me. Yet, I find myself feeling a bit uncomfortable. 

I came to realize that I am not thinking. I am listening. To me. 

There is a voice inside of me that will speak if I am quiet enough to hear. She has the wisdom to share with me things that I know will serve me well. I feel like her voice is what I need to listen to for this next chapter of my life. She will guide my choices on how I choose to live, how I choose to serve others, and how I choose to treat our planet. The other side of this is that I believe there are things that she wants me to let go of — things that are not serving me well, limiting beliefs in my worthiness…stuff that is dimming my lite. 

It is uncomfortable to consider what she might have to say, what she might want me to let go of. Frankly, I am a bit afraid. 

I hope she shows me how to be brave enough to honour my essence so that I can shine my brightest light to honour mother earth and to honour my community, friends and family. 

I want to be my "truest me." I want to move forward from this pandemic doing what I can to make this world a little better; to keep some of the wonderful gifts that our collective break from the busyness of life has shown us. 

I do not want my old life back. I want some of the old, but I also want a whole bunch of things that have shown up as truer priorities in this collective pause. 

I am not done listening, but rather, I am allowing myself more ease, and more freedom to hear myself, to peer into the quiet corners, and to really hear my essence. What I know right now is that I am going to try to follow these wise words. 

"Be bold enough to use your voice,

Brave enough to listen to your heart and

Strong enough to live the life you've always imagined."

-Unknown