Meet me Where I Am

Countless times during our lives, we are given the opportunity to help others when they are not having the best of days. 

During this pandemic, we are being called on more than ever to practice kindness and to hold space for others. The one thing that I always try to remember is to meet them where they are. 

To be honest, my first reaction is to fix it; I wish I could take the discomfort away for them. This need comes from a place of love, but am I meeting them where they are? Nope! 

Some better choices are to:

Lean Into Silence

Really, really listen. We are all guilty of working on a response while the person is talking. I try to ensure I add a few breaths at the end of their thought before I say anything.

Lean Into Grace

I ask: "Are you looking for ideas?" Leave the choice up to them; they know whether they are seeking advice. Maybe they just want to be heard. Genuinely hearing someone is a gift on its own. 

Lean Into Compassion

When offering to hold space for someone, it is not the time to compare your suffering to theirs. We all have our bad days and moments, but responding with, "I know just how you feel" does not support. Instead, you are stealing their pain and making it your own. 

Lean Into Kindness

This is not the time to pass judgement. "Loving kindness" requires that you meet them where they are, from their perspective and life experience. Simply stated – do not judge.

Lean Into Patience

And yes, my work in progress (other stuff is on the list, too) is: Do not try to fix it. Do not offer solutions or "I would do it this way" advice unless they ask for it. 

These are unprecedented times that call for unprecedented kindness. I hope with all my being that this is one of the things that we bring forward with us. 

"Kindness is seeing the best in others when they cannot see it themselves." -Unknown