Perfectionism or Excellence - Is there a difference?
If you have read our recent journals, you know that we have been writing about the topic of accomplishing. First, we talked of understanding the cycles of nature and the lunar influences as we plan and execute in our business. Then we talk about gentleness as a key performance indicator for your business.
To further reflect on accomplishing it is important to understand what/when you are pushing too hard and when/why would there need to be necessary commitment and action to getting things done.
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; But sometimes it’s letting go.”
~ Hermann Hesse
Life as an entrepreneur is a constant struggle managing multiple deadlines, being responsible for the work of the business and the executive function, and meeting the needs of your team - if you are fortunate to have a team’s support. How do we know when to push towards a goal? To ease off? Or to bless + release a goal?
Complicated questions with no simple answers especially when we consider that our ego is so quickly engaged when we are in moments of stress. We certainly can not answer the question for you, but we can offer some food for thought that may help you navigate these moments easier.
Our ego perceives itself as not ok. It is always challenged by the present moment and shows up as perpetually restless and not satisfied with the current state which creates anxiousness. It has an unstainable desire to achieve. It is important to understand the impact our ego has. It drives us and motivates us to explore life and have new experiences, but it also brings its own story based on your life journey, family of origin and personal experiences. The ego’s narrative will constantly drive and challenge you. It will also attempt to define you. ‘I will be successful when…’, ‘I can’t change my mind because it would mean I failed…,’ ‘I will be happy when…’
The ego will also try to label your identity. ‘I am an MBA graduate’ ‘I am not enough’. ‘I am a failed business person.’ These identities may not be in alignment which could trigger stress and anxiety - How can I be I have completed my MBA and fail in business? The perfect breeding ground for ego to thrive.
In comparison when you live in alignment with your true and authentic self you feel complete. You are comfortable in the present moment and don’t feel the push to constantly strive towards a goal that your ego has stated as a top priority. In the moment you can find the flow to navigate. You can shift to a gentler approach.
Achievement ~ Contentment. Persevering ~ Grace. Tenacious ~ Releasing.
The journey of life; experiencing failures, being disillusioned, facing disappointment becomes the accumulated learning that allows you to learn more about yourself. This allows you to understand your ego from a place of love, when it is helping and those moments when it may be driving the bus instead of your authentic self being at the wheel.
One of the most frequent ‘suits’ that the ego will wear is perfectionism. Ego gets dressed up as perfectionism providing the perfect environment for constant self criticism; for pursuing goals that should have been released or adjusted to allow for new learning/experience and to never enjoy the successes you accomplish.
There is a difference between setting high standards – excellence - or striving for perfectionism. High standards allow us to solve new challenges, make improvements and provide quality products/services to our clients. Whereas perfectionism considers everything a failure if it is not 100% perfect with no room for mistakes – rather unattainable I feel – and perfect for the ego to try to get the driver’s seat.
Let’s not kid ourselves that having high standards will take a lot of work to achieve but it is achievable. Perfectionism on the other hand, can never be achieved. The ending result will impact your self-worth, your business and personal relationships, and your health (both physically and mentally).
Where do you start to shift from perfectionism to high standards? How about some new key performance indicators? Instead of placing the measurement of success on the outcome - how about placing it on the process?
What were my key learnings?
How did we improve the process for the next opportunity?
How did I expand my community of support/network?
When we focus on being perfect, we tend to only see the things that went wrong. When we place more value on the process than the outcome we see moments of celebration regardless of outcome. We improve our skills and process that will improve our future business results and most importantly it will create more resiliency and ease in your life.
If you are a perfectionist, you may have a hard time shifting your goals and strategies. Goals tend to be more rigid when we are perfectionist – ‘I set the correct goal so I can’t change it’. ‘This has been my dream for so long, I can’t pursue a different dream.’
“Trust your inner wisdom, your intuition, to guide you.
It is uniquely you, unseen but insightful, that speaks great truths and is your very essence.”
Jacquie Costron
