My Relationship With Me

I have these dinner napkins from Urban Barn that have questions on them. My son and his partner have been physically distancing with us since this all started, which has been a great distraction with four people and three dogs sharing the space and also a great opportunity to get to know a special young lady. We pulled out these trusted conversation starter napkins a couple of weekends ago and spent a lot of time on the question, “What has been the most defining moment of your life, so far?”.

Of course, the COVID-19 pandemic came up and we started to talk about how we might answer this question in one year, three years and beyond. The pandemic will undoubtedly be a defining moment. The thing with great questions is that they can stay with me for a while… my thoughts roll around on what I have to be mindful of during the journey through and out of the pandemic to see the defining moments that will present themselves. This has led me to need to dig a little deeper into mindfulness; how we use the word mindfulness in conversation versus what is the practice of mindfulness. 

In conversation, when we use the word mindfulness, we are often talking about being conscious or aware of something. I am mindful that I need to exercise daily. I am mindful that I must keep track of time so that I can attend a meeting on time. 

Whereas, the practice of mindfulness is about my relationship with myself. 

The practice of mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens. When we practice mindfulness, our thoughts tune into what we are sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future. 

I have listened to this 16-minute video numerous times and every time, I hear something more. In the video, Jon Kabat-Zinn talks about Why Mindfulness Matters – and Why It Might Matter to You! and the practice of embodied presence in your own life. He talks about there being two elements to the practice of mindfulness. 

· Mindfulness involves a disciplined approach to meditation. It encompasses a formal and rigorous meditation process that is disciplined and needs to be practiced.  

· It is also about the relationship that I have with myself.  Mindfulness is present as a way of being that allows me to have a wise relationship with both my inner and outer experiences. It allows me a way to be at home in my own skin.  It is not another thing on my to-do list, but rather a way of being in relationship to everything on my to-do list. This allows me to have a love affair with where I am right now.

I don’t know about you, but that just sounds like a lovely thing: to have a love affair with where I am right now.